EVEN MORE Puns .....

Due to covid, we are asking rioters to work from home and destroy their own property.

The government has taken 1p off petrol, so I'm just off to buy some etrol before they put it back on again ....

I passed a man when I was walking my dog through a cemetery. He said: "Morning."
I replied: "No just walking the dog."

The day after we went metric I went into a greengrocers and asked for 5lbs of potatoes. The greengrocer said: "Sorry, we no longer use that: it's kilos now."
I said: "OK give me 5lbs of kilos."