| I’ve half a mind to become a teacher. |
That’s all you need isn’t it? |
| Streakers beware. |
Your end is in sight. |
| I've told you millions of times. |
Stop exaggerating. |
| "God is dead." Nietzsche. |
"Nietzsche is dead." God. |
| What about apathy? |
I couldn't care less. |
| Make your M.P. work |
Vote for somebody else. |
| Women like the simpler things in life. |
Men. |
| Hypochondria |
It's the only disease I haven't got. |
| He lost his job through illness |
The boss got sick of him. |
| Have you heard of Pavlov?
| Ummm ... that name rings a bell. |
| I used to use cliches. |
Now I avoid them like the plague. |
| Never mind the Titanic. |
Is there any news of the iceberg? |
| Keep death off the roads. |
Drive on the pavement. |
| Einstein rules. |
Relatively speaking. |
| Do you have a drink problem? |
Yes - I can't afford it. |
| We buy junk. |
We also sell antiques. |
| Do you have trouble making up your mind? |
Well, ... yes and no. |
| Old teachers never die. |
They just lose their class. |
| Conserve energy. |
Make love more slowly. |
| I can resist everything. |
Except temptation. |
| God made things that creep and crawl. |
But British Rail, it beats them all. |
| Sex is good for one. |
But it’s even better for two. |
| This is the age of the train. |
It takes an age to catch one. |
| Crime shouldn't pay. |
Why don’t they nationalise it? |
| Drive carefully - don’t kill a child. |
Wait for a teacher. |
| Don’t complain about the beer. |
You’ll be old and weak yourself one day. |
| Your mind is like a Welsh railway. |
One track and rather dirty. |
| My husband sleeps under the bed. |
I think he’s a little potty. |
| I asked for a suite with a view. |
They gave me a Polo mint. |
| If at first you don’t succeed. |
So much for sky-diving. |
| Is there intelligent life on earth? |
No, I’m just visiting. |
| Nothing acts faster than aspirin. |
Take nothing then. |
| Your eyes are like the ocean. |
They make me sick. |
| God give me patience. |
But please hurry up about it. |
